Vicky’s Sit Spot Journey
Founder Victoria Mew shares daily updates from her Midwinter Musings and daily nature time commitment.
My Sit Spot Brought the State Change I Needed
8th January 2022
This is naturally a reflective time of year. I’ve noticed myself feeling a bit low and can feel an inner searching for inspiration, a pull in me to do something to feel more fulfilled from my day. So after a few days of procrastination, I’ve responded by revisiting my sit spot as a daily practice. Before yesterday I’d not been for a while and although its been on some level a routine I’ve returned to again and again over the last 20 years, my habit life with it ebbs and flows. I’ve definitely been in an ebb for the majority of 2021.
It’s amazing how big a state change just 20 minutes sitting (and laying) at my sit spot had for me. Such a big shift that I’m committing to going every day for the remainder of January. In those 20 minutes of that first sit spot of the year, I cried, let myself be held by the earth, laughed at the squirrel antics, reflected on the monotone of the bare canopy against the grey sky and felt the colour that birdsong brings at this quieter time of year.
And I’m reminded that the vast majority of the natural world is humbly getting on with meeting its needs at this winter time – not showing off to mates or flowering, doing just enough to BE through the midwinter. To Being!
Jan 31st
Day 25 daily nature time commitment
So today is the last day of January! I did it – the commitment I made to myself back when I was feeling low on the 7th Jan was to do a sit spot every day for the rest of the month. Celebrating myself and feeling grateful for all of you who’ve supported me and incredibly grateful for all the aspects of nature I’ve experienced over these past 25 days and nights!
Today whilst at my sit spot I realised that whilst I’ve had an amazing time this month with this practice, there’s a part of me that wants to share it with others. So I’m going to create a free offering to start on Feb 2nd to run from Imbolc to Spring Equinox with a daily invited focus for people at their sit spot. I’ll post a link to it here tomorrow. The intention will be to support people to connect more deeply both with themselves and their local natural spot.
Along with that desire to share my sit spot experience with others, my little one came down to my sit spot this morning with me. It was cold and the sun was out touching the tops of the trees. I had carried him down from the house without his shoes on, intending to have a look at the squirrel we’d seen from the house and a little listen to the birds. He wanted to get down and I put aside my initial hesitation and voices in my head of ‘its too cold to go barefoot this time of year’ and let him follow his instincts. After watching him a short while, I took my shoes and socks off to join him. It was refreshing to feel the crunchy leaves underfoot easing into the squishy mud below. The short moment passed and he soon wanted to head back into the warm. What a gift ‘fresh eyes’ have to offer in nature.
I got my own time at my sit spot this evening. After spooking a fox who was in that spot just to the East of my sit spot I’d heard the mysterious stick moving sounds on Jan 25th, I lay and listened to the robins and other birds with gratitude throughout my being.
Jan 30th
Day 24 daily nature time commitment.
So grateful for the warmth and brightness of the sun and colours today and for getting out in the wider landscapes around the beautiful place I live. So grateful for the views and expansive feeling I get being here. And then to bring my outdoor time to a close for today with the light of the setting sun at my sitspot. I am experiencing such deep rebalancing and centring from this simple daily commitment. Thank you to all those of you supporting me on my journey in little ways.
Jan 29th
Day 23 daily nature time commitment
Unusually I got out to my sit spot twice today, once at midday and once just now in the evening, star gazing in the crystal clear open sky. Earlier, it was one of those gloriously warm moments in January where you can sense Spring being close by even if the very next day it may feel far away again!
I lay on the earth under the tall stands of trees noticing the movement. It struck me that I don’t feel like I’ve seen or heard the trees moving much at all lately, it’s been really still when I’ve been out there. I also noticed just how low the midday sun was in the sky and how much higher I know it gets in the summer.
Grateful to have felt the contrast of the warmth and cold that comes with clear skies in the winter. And how different this feels to the softening effect of the cloud cover I’ve experienced lately.
Jan 28th
Day 22 daily nature time commitment
I found spacious time in daylight today and after a sit I found myself wondering where the mother deer had been when i hadn’t noticed her for such a long time the day before yesterday. And what had she been doing all that time – surely if she had been browsing I would have seen her movement at some point. So I took a little wander to check for track and sign. There were very few footprints in the area she emerged from. And my feeling was that she had been still and therefore likely laying down. Soon after I saw what I believe was her day bed and some associated scat.
Then I was in the mood to look for other tracks and sign and read natures newspaper once more in that familiar place. It was rich. I found another crossing point on the stream for both fox and roe deer. And then also the skeletal remains of a rodent, possibly squirrel – any other ideas?
In gratitude to this rich nature corridor and the mysteries I happened upon today.
Jan 27th
Day 21 daily nature time commitment
My sit spot time today came after my little one’s bedtime and with the stillness of the night once more. But in contrast to the night sits in the past few days tonights sky was cloudless, the crisp, cold air was present and the stars shone down in their beauty. As I sat orienting myself in my habitual way toward the stream, toward the south, I felt bothered by the lights in the houses over that way. So I turned my back to the south and in doing so the plough and polaris caught my attention shining so clearly.
I felt grateful for the north star of my life and the space I’ve opened recently to reflect on it this winter time. The past couple of years since having Lawrence I’ve had much less headspace for anything beyond the present moment, let alone my overall path in life. I feel a new chapter opening.
Jan 26th
Day 20 daily nature time commitment
Well, I have heard that the state you’re in affects what shows up when you spend time in nature. I went out to my sit spot feeling my heart full of love and gratitude. In part because of those of you who’ve been supporting me on my journey this month with these posts and for all the love and connection I received yesterday on my birthday.
I got to sit and watch a relaxed roe deer browsing for a good half an hour. During this time I was completely unaware there was a second one in the vicinity. I managed to quietly walk back to my home, bring my nearly 2 year old out to see if the deer was still there, and he got to see it too. With his wanting to get closer to it, we then saw the second, I think the young one’s mum. So, so lovely. Thank you deer for your medicine, your subtle energies, your feeling of love, gentleness yet strength, agility and grace. Thank you for being with me today.
Jan 25th
Day 19 daily nature time commitment.
Today I walked out to my sit spot in the dark of night feeling a full and grateful heart on perhaps my favourite birthday yet. As I stalked an occasionally stumbled my way to my sit spot I heard some animal activity to the East. I thought for sure whoever it was would notice me and scarper but I got to my spot and sat down and the sounds continued. It wasn’t a vocalisation but it sounded like sticks being moved around. It was a mystery to me as to who was making the sound and what it was doing.
Again I noticed my state as being captivated, listening out for the next sound and in total curiosity. Thoughts flashed through my head of who I know lives in the woods and moves through and who I felt I could at least rule out. I felt for sure it was a mammal and of a significant size (ruling out rodents). I’m sure a deer would have sensed me and ran by now. So that left fox and badger (or domestic cat). I even wondered if it could be a fox that had found some food in litter and was trying to eat it and hitting sticks in the process.
I still don’t know who it was, but I’m grateful for the way it opened my senses and kept me fully in the present moment for so long.
Here’s a couple of ‘videos’ just for the sound really to share what I was hearing if you can tune out the road and water noises! Then there’s one with a vocalisation which was from the South but may have been related
And I want to share my thanks to all of you who have supported me on this journey the past few weeks – I feel amazingly more connected to nature, myself, all layers of life in this little woods and beyond and to the mystery. New inspirations are arising and moving in me and I feel so grateful for it all.
Jan 24th
Day 18 daily nature time commitment
I don’t know if it was the stillness, the ease in the cold from earlier today or the mysterious sound I heard upon entering the wooded strip this evening…But it didn’t take long for me to drop into a present state, senses open, heart expanded and feeling at peace.
And the noise that drew my attention initially sounded a bit like a muffled or subtle bark of a deer… Just a couple of them as I first entered. I sank to the ground and was still and I heard nothing of footsteps or bounding away. I sat for several minutes holding a gratitude and curiosity toward that sound, wondering who had made it and who I had disturbed. I sat in the stillness of the air and trees seeing their dull, familiar silhouettes.
Then several minutes later I heard it again but this time significantly further away. As it continued on and on, although I’m not 100% sure, I felt pretty confident that it was in fact the sound of a domestic cat coughing up a hairball. Now this along with the sound of the barking dog made me laugh inwardly. When I deduced the maker of the sound I felt immediately disappointed, less in awe, less grateful. Why is this? Why do I have such a different body response toward domesticated animals than those in the wild. Pets of all kinds have many gifts to offer us humans, I know this. I have had and loved pets in the past. But such a contrast. I started wondering upon the theme of domestic and wild within and without. I think there’s a sacred question arising for me around this yet to be distilled.
Jan 23rd
Day 17 daily nature time commitment
I had a lovely spacious sit spot for the half hour toward dusk. Another classic wintry sky scape looking up through the dark silhouettes of the tree branches to the white grey of the clouds above with the company of bright birdsong.
Today I’ve been reflecting on the roles and relationships different people hold for me and I for others. Within the human family it seems to me that sometimes a person can show up in one’s life and feel like the answer to a prayer, at other times roles can become blurred and relationships can be extremely complex.
Sitting there in my familiar spot surrounded by the tall trees and the bird sounds everything felt simple. I observed myself feeling relaxed and at home. I feel blessed for my connection to nature throughout my life as I know it’s not the case for everyone – but for me I know my relationship to the trees, whilst it continues to grow and deepen, ebb and flow to some extent, it never feels complex or ‘sticky’!
And then there’s my friend the fox, I started to think of her role in the family of life. I don’t imagine things feel complicated when she goes and hunts a rabbit for example. Whilst it gives death to an individual, it strengthens the health of the population, the rabbit nourishes the fox (who I believe is pregnant) and in Spring will be nourishing her cubs.
Maybe this clarity of role and relationship is one reason I find it so balancing and grounding to spend time in nature.
Jan 22nd
Day 16 daily nature time commitment
Another full day where I hadn’t planned my nature time into the day and so I got to evening time and found myself somewhat reluctant to go out into the dark. Then I was asked about my sit spot practice – what is it, what do I do, how long do I go for.
As I described that I simply went to be present in nature, to open myself to any reflections it offered me and to expand myself or even dissolve into the fabric of that natural space – I felt my body relax and not only knew I had to get out there but also that a big part of me wanted to. The reluctance had gone. I was sharing that I aim to be out for 20 minutes and sometimes it’s less… but when it is less, I still wait for myself to reach a certain state of feeling expansive and at peace.
And being out there this evening, I reckon it’s the mildest evening in a while, super still and strangely lit, I couldn’t tell where the moon was but I assume it was subtly lighting the clouds from above as I could see more than I often can at night.
I was challenged by the rather incessant barking of a dog, feeling agitated by it. But eventually I surrendered it as being part of nature too and laughed inside when I thought how differently I’d feel toward that sound if it had been foxes calling or even the sound of a fox hunting… I’d have felt excited, adrenalated and attentively listening rather than wishing the sound would stop!
Once it did stop the peace came swiftly and deeply, the sound of the stream sung and all else sounded sleeping still.
Jan 21st
Day 15 daily nature time commitment
Today I was blessed to have a friend have a sit spot in the little strip of woods where I go each day. Her reflections after were how bright and full the woods were with birdsong.
It got me thinking how when I moved here, whilst I was grateful for the strip of woods in this residential area I longed for wilder, more open space. There is a real gift though in the wildlife corridors, the thin strips of wild that link up bigger areas of natural space. It means that somehow wildlife living there is denser. I’m sure if our home backed onto a big expanse of wild space that I wouldn’t see the fox so often and I wouldn’t get near daily updates of badger and roe deer track and sign within a minutes walk of my sit spot.
Feeling very grateful for this little wooded strip and the many others that remain amidst housing and urban settings.
Jan 20th
Day 14 daily nature time
I got to the evening without having taken a moment for my time in nature today. I’d even half got into my pjs – early I know – and remembered I’d not been out to be. I felt despondent and that I couldn’t really be bothered. I think doing these public posts is really helpful for holding myself to account though. I got myself out to my sit spot and sat under the silhouettes of the tree branches reaching skyward and beyond them the starlight piercing the nights sky. Some deep breaths later and I felt expanded into the cosmos. It was extremely still out and I’m grateful for taking the time to simply be under the stars.
Jan 19th
Day 13 daily nature time
I got out to my sit spot a little before dusk. I positioned myself so I had a clear view of the trail I’d seen the fox travelling down the past few evenings and sat enjoying a deep breathe out after a full day. I enjoyed the bird song and the light of the setting sun moving up the trees.
As I got up to leave, I caught the movement of a fox to the west of me, a ways upstream… I wondered if it had known I was there before I moved or not.
Jan 18th
Day 12 of my daily nature time commitment.
What a beautiful day throughout! The moon over the frosty landscape this morning was beautiful. I just had my sit spot under the moon this evening too, amazing to think that the earth has spun around in that time and there it is again, its cool reflective light beaming down through the fog.
As I sat in the moonlight I felt the cold and the stillness of the woods around me. No dusk bird calls, barely any movement. I was just about feeling complete when my eyes refocussed and there before me in the darkness was something. It was looking at me, I could see the shine of its eyes, but I couldn’t recognise the eyes. I watched it for some time and it was motionless. Completely still. I started to wonder what I was seeing. So as quietly and slowly as I could muster I got up onto all fours and inched toward it. Memories of night stealth games came streaming in. I was surprised the being hadn’t yet moved. As I moved a little closer my eyes refocussed and there was a log with two shiny bits of fungus I’m guessing, looking right at me!
Amazing how a change of perspective can change my reality.
I wonder what other realities and stories am I creating that I have yet to question and bring into clearer focus?
Jan 17th
Day 11 I felt much more at peace with my sit spot time today. I managed to go at a similar time to the previous two days, around 4.50 as dusk is settling in. I had wanted to go a little earlier and so felt myself rushing to get there. As I got to my gate at the bottom of the garden I took a deep breath, centred myself and slowed right down. Such a useful practice to have a physical landmark on the way to my sit spot as a reminder to transition into nature’s pace.
I started fox walking (conscious walking slowly) in wide angle vision (softer gaze that is helpful for noticing movement). After just a few steps I looked toward the fox trail where I’ve seen the fox the past two evenings. And I stopped. There crouched low to the ground and looking at me was the fox. We had one of those timeless moments of gazing at each other, perhaps she was wondering if I had noticed her or not. And then she turned and went back toward her den to the west.
I sat in gratitude for the fox and how she is helping my curiousity, enjoying the evening birdsong brightly filling the air and feeling thankful for another blue sky day and the warmth I’d felt from the sun.
Jan 16th
Day 10
I managed to time my sit spot today around the same time as yesterday. This was in part to see if the fox I saw has a routine of passing through at the same time each dusk.
It was amazing the effect that hoping and somewhat expecting to see the fox had on my experience. I reckon I observed and appreciated less because I was focussed in on the fox trail just over the stream, not wanting to miss the moment it came by.
In contrast yesterday, I was in a state of presence and gratitude and the movement of the fox caught my attention, I saw her in my peripheral vision and felt pleasantly surprised, blessed.
Dusk today, about 5 mins later than yesterday the fox did come by again, but the lead up to her moving through I was in a state of slight tension, of waiting. Interestingly as soon as I saw her, she noticed me and scarpered up to cover. Yesterday I don’t think she noticed me at all and I watched her in her relaxed baseline.
Both times I was still and as close to silent as can be. But I reckon animals pick up the energy and intensity of our gaze and our state. So my challenge to myself for tomorrow is to go at a similar time but with non-attachment and to support myself to get into that sweet state of presence and gratitude.
Jan 15th
Day 9 I entered the little woodland strip at dusk today and was taking in the beauty and crisp clarity of the birdsong. Up toward the canopy the songs were ringing out but the wrens nearer the ground were alarming at something. Initially I thought it was the disturbance I’d made on my way to my sit spot. But as I stopped and stilled myself it seemed to carry on. A moment later my eyes were drawn to the movement just over the other side of the stream. A fox was on its way camouflaging beautifully in the dusk light.
Two things stood out for me today. We had just got home from a night away with family and I recognised my desire to get to my sit spot shortly after returning. I told my little one that I was going to sit in the woods and see it the fox was there! Interesting that fox showed herself to me… it was the feeling though of having a still moment in that familiar natural place, breathing out and greeting the land that helped me really arrive home.
And then as I’d just arrived back and I wasn’t sure where my sitspot mat was I went without it for the first time in a very long time. This highlighted how much it helps me to relax and settle in my space. I send gratitude to Dora Clouttick for this handmade gift. It has been possibly my most used and appreciated gift. Since I was given it Ive also inspired many others to make their own woven wool and waxed linen backed mat – and the sit spot comfort and love ripples out!
Jan 14th
Day 8 – what a gorgeous day! I took the opportunity to get out for a wander and a sit. The clear blue sky and the golden sunlight catching the glittering frosted plants was captivating.
As I paused to take in the view the sunlight warmed me. I felt my being relax and expand with a sense of peace.
I felt a resemblance to how I feel when I feel loved. That sunlight has a similar quality to receive.
As I wandered on taking in the landscape, I imagined how the sunlight would move over the land, the frost would be warmed and the colours of the grass and trees would glow once more. And yet there are some places in the landscape that may remain frozen all day, untouched by the sunlight.
The question the arose in me was – what are the spaces within me that my inner sunlight, my love of myself, don’t touch or rarely touch? Where are the frosty spaces awaiting the sun?
Jan 13th
Day 7 of my daily nature time commitment for Jan. Whilst looking for some more tracks around the fox leaping and landing spot I discovered a couple of days ago I found some lovely tracks of other mammals too.
I’ve known this spot for a number of years and have spent a lot of time there – so whilst it wasn’t a new discovery, it felt a bit like hearing from an old friend who I’d not been in contact with for a while.
I love knowing that in the woodland strip just beyond our garden roams the badger, fox, roe deer and moles… the many tracks and sign they leave behind probably daily – it just takes a bit of time and attentiveness to read natures ‘newspaper’
Jan 12th
Day 6
So beautiful to feel the warmth of the sun today after so many days of grey skies. I was blessed by a flock of long tailed tits visiting the trees surrounding my sit spot today. What cute and agile birds. Grateful also for the squirrels who entertained me.
Jan 11th
Update added below…
Day 5 of my daily nature time commitment. I didn’t make time to get out and simply be until after my little one was asleep. Needless to say darkness had settled in by then but I was glad for the light of the moon illuminating the cloud cover.
I’ve done a lot of moving around in the woods in the dark with my work. People who know me well know that I hate torches and much prefer to slow down and feel my way. Well tonight was a good reminder of that. It didn’t take long before I’d encountered a few dripping wet twigs at face level and took a deep breath, slowed way down and tuned into my less used senses.
After sitting a while in the relative dark my eyes gazed softly and my ears took front stage. I listened to the constant dripping from the trees. It had stopped raining by now but water was hanging off of everything. I listened for the spaces between the drips. The stillness amidst the movement.
Then I was drawn to the loudest noise in the little wooded strip… the one part of the stream where an old alder tree blocks the path of the water and it has a confined space to flow. Had it not been for this part of the stream I doubt I’d have known through hearing alone that there was a stream. The rest appeared still despite the rain. So I followed the tug and went and sat with the mini waterfall. Amazing how energised the same water is when there’s less space to flow. I reflected on how much more efficient I can be when I know I only have an hour to get a job done.
Update – so after sleeping on this I realised there are doorways I have and can consciously create to enable a flow of focused energy in a particular direction. Choosing what doorways to create affects where i naturally then invest my energy.
Jan 10th
So today I spotted a cluster of tracks on the bank of the stream down at my sit spot. At closer look I’m confident they are fox tracks. After checking them out it seems that our resident foxes are confidently jumping a cold stream of at least 1.7m wide.
I remember a couple of Springs ago watching the young cubs follow their mum over the stream on a fallen tree trunk and one fell in. It ad me giggling especially how it seemed to look around and carry on as if pretending nothing had happened!
But I’m wondering at what point does a fox go from crossing a tree trunk over a stream to taking that substantial leap onto a slippy clay bank the other side. And when does the edgy new feeling wear off and it feel easy and normal to confidently jump it.
I wonder what new ‘streams’ I’ll jump this coming year and when the edgy feeling will dissolve away and I’ll feel confident at that new skill or horizon…
Jan 9th
I went for my nature time at dusk today with a waxing half moon above me. I sat listening to the birds feeling thankful for the bright blue sky day. And I could feel how quickly the temperature was dropping with the setting of the sun. I could feel my muscles repeatedly tense in response to the cold and it took conscious effort to keep relaxing into the earth. It made me wonder at how the birds and animals make it through the winter nights. I mean, how much warmer is it in an earthen burrow or a nest or tree hollow? I recalled hearing how little birds such as blue tits all flock together and squeeze into bird boxes or natural hollows to share body heat in the winter nights. I thought how even though with our heated houses it’s not a physiological need to gather like that in the winter – I reckon it’d do my emotional and social well-being a world of good to gather with community more in the winter time than I have the past couple of years.
Jan 8th
Today’s sit spot reflections – With the dormancy of the plant world, it feels like our winter resident birds are more present than ever. Maybe it’s that with less variety of birds with the migrants back in their warmer climates but I find it easier to focus on those who are there.
I love this time of year for focusing in on a couple of specific species who live here. Observing day after day the same handful of robins and wondering and trying to discern where each of their boundaries of territories are.